I labeled myself as “just a mom” for years. I would have defended that title to the death.

There’s nothing wrong with being “just a mom.”

Well, only one thing–it’s not true.

I wanted to be a mom for as long as I can remember. I loved to hold my sister’s babies and couldn’t wait until I held my own in my arms.

And I did.

It was every bit amazing and wonderful as I thought it would be.

But, I did something wrong in the process. I forgot so much of myself.

You see, kids are wonderful and astonishing and life-changing. They are all the things you hear about them before you have kids.

They can be one other thing too–all-consuming.

Kids need a lot of time and attention and focus.

It happens easily.

However, you don’t have to lose yourself in the process and you will be a better mom if you don’t.

Do you know why?

Because little girls need to see all of their mom, not just their mothering part. Your little girls need to see your hopes and dreams, and the challenges you face. They should get to see you doing the things that you love and trying new things. Being brave, courageous, and a little crazy.

Your little boys need to see someone that does more than clean up after them and play their games with them. They need to see everything that a woman entails so that when they grow up, they will know to cherish that in their own wife.

It’s not just your children who deserve your whole self.

Your husband deserves to have more than just a part of the woman that he chose to marry. Of course, neither of you will stay the same, but neither should either of you give everything you have to your children. Keep parts of yourself.

You need your whole self! That is also the best version of yourself as a parent.

I didn’t believe this for a long time. I thought the best version of me as a mother was one lying in pieces on the floor while everyone I loved plucked those pieces up as needed.

This phrase, “I’m just a mom,” usually comes up when people ask you what you do.

We’ve come to correlate the only thing we “do” in the world today as something associated with money. But there is a whole lot more to life than what anyone does to put food on the table, and if there isn’t, that’s something you should change.

We are really good at labeling ourselves and others with rather shallow titles.

Whether you are employed, or a full-time mom, there is a whole lot more you should be doing than working or mothering. Growing talents. Working towards goals. Doing things you love–not for your kids or husband, but for yourself.

I saw a Facebook post from a young mom once, reminiscing on some of the things she did before kids, with the sentiment that she would like to do it again when her kids are older.

Here’s a reality check for young moms.

Kids don’t get easier when they are older. Things don’t get simpler. When you are no longer lost in a pile of diapers and nighttime baths.

When that passes, then comes your children’s activities, sports, and friends. Then it is supporting them and worrying about them as they become more and more independent by the day.

There will always be something that will fill your time until you put some time in there for yourself. You can even bring your kids with you to do that thing you love. My kids get kicked out of the house all the time to go outside or drug down to the horses. They’re still surviving.

As a woman, embrace motherhood. It is amazing. Also terrible and heart-wrenching at times. Kids are great.

But don’t forget the rest of yourself. Embrace all those other parts as well. They also will likely be amazing, terrible, and heart-wrenching, but they will keep you whole.

We live in the freest age women have ever experienced, but now self-limitations are in place.

It’s hard to get back out there and find that brave, free girl ready to conquer the world after you’ve spent years talking to babies. That person that loved to dance, sing, play sports, travel, create, learn, grow–whatever it was. She is still there and she should not be forgotten.

This is not an article about how women should get a career, or how women can do whatever men can do. This is an article about being a woman.

You will grow older, your children will grow up, and eventually, you will not have the entirety of life consumed with your children. Don’t wait until that happens to rediscover all that you are.

When I was a younger mother, if anyone asked me what I liked to do, I couldn’t have answered them. I couldn’t remember the girl I was. Who was I outside of birthing and caring for children?

It encompassed my being.

I’ve met man other mothers, and fathers, whose only self-description revolved around their children. It’s a common path.

I kept small pieces of myself. I still loved to read, and did some work from home. I had a few activities I would participate in sometimes, but there were so many parts of myself buried deep beneath the work and toil of motherhood and life.

Slowly, quite slowly, I tried to remember who this girl once was. Who was I before my husband and children? That is a hard question to ask when you have largely forgotten yourself.

Remembering started with a free horse.

I wanted him because I loved horses as a kid. I didn’t get this horse for me, I got it for my children because I wanted them to have the chance to love something I had loved so deeply.

I was tentative about it. I couldn’t put anything in my life that would take away from my children. My life had become devoted to them.

He was a good ole’ boy. The kids would climb on and off him. They would ride him around the corral with their pet chicken. And then I was pregnant again and he had bucked one of the kids off, and it just didn’t seem to be working out.

He found a beautiful new home in the Colorado mountains where he became best friends with a cow and we received updates on him for years.

Goodbye Horses.

I had another baby and then I had a great idea.

Why not adopt a wild mustang? Honestly, I knew absolutely nothing about wild horses, let alone training one. (Read about some mustang amazingness, here)

But, it seems that God knew I needed to rediscover myself.

I wouldn’t have adopted just any wild mustang, but there was one who absolutely captivated my attention and my husband was on board. Sure, why don’t you adopt a wild mustang?

This was not a horse for my kids.

She was mine. It was the first time in a long time I did something so dramatic and completely for myself. I would say selfish, but in a way, it was one of the most compassionate things I did for my whole family because I needed this horse. I didn’t need it like you need that cute pair of shoes. I needed it because my soul was fading away into a forgotten world. I was forgetting myself. This horse reawakened a part of me.

Adopting a wild horse with a brand new baby and five other kids in tow makes absolutely no sense. To be honest, when I went in with the adoption paperwork, I couldn’t believe they agreed to let me look at her with my ragtag bunch, let alone bring a wild horse to my home, but they did.

It was one of the most important things I did as a mother because it gave me a release. It brought a piece of me back into my life. It has let me show my children that no one is “just a mom,” and that includes you.

So, next time someone asks you what you do…

Tell them about your passions and projects and hopes.

Oh yeah, and of course tell them you are a mom too because it really is amazing!

(Read some more about motherhood, here.)