When I began to think of the idea of pruning my life to only fill it with the richest elements, distractions was on the top of the list of things to go.

I’ve known for awhile that I have a problem with distraction.

To be clearer, I have a problem with social media and wasting time.

There are other distractions I have, but technology is by far my biggest deterrent to progress in my life.

It’s kind of embarrassing to admit, but I use social media as an emotional coping mechanism.

It works pretty good.

If I’m feeling overwhelmed, frustrated, angry or sad, jump on social media. It all goes away. I can instead start seeing what other people are doing. Likely doubting myself and some of my life choices. Or just indulge in some things I like, such as pictures of horses.

Seriously, I will find myself looking for horses for sale.

I’m still training the horses I have. I don’t need or have money for another one, but for some reason, I’m looking at pictures of horses for sale.

I could be out working with my own horses. Why am I looking at pictures of other people’s horses?

It’s absolutely ridiculous when you sit back and think about it.

But in the midst of scrolling, it’s addictive.

This is also embarrassing to admit, but I’ve sat there for over an hour and watched reels on Instagram with my kids.

I’ve started watching, and fast forwarded to the very end, ridiculously dumb videos on Facebook. They were too dumb for me to watch the whole thing, but apparently not dumb enough for me to skip watching the ridiculous conclusion.

All this because I didn’t want to face my current life and whatever particular challenge had arisen at the moment. Cleaning is a really popular one that pushes me to checking out.

It honestly is an addiction because I’m masking my emotions.

I cringe to think of how much time I have wasted.

On average worldwide, individuals spend almost two and a half hours a day on social media. I pray this is one area I’m below average, but I know, without measuring it, that I have spent more time than I wanted to on completely pointless activities. I’m guessing Americans actually spend more time than that because we have such readily accessible technology.

Forbes reported that in 2020, Americans spent an average of 1,300 hours online. That is 62.5, 24-hour days online! That’s two months of your life, spent online! Ugh, I think I need a bowl to vomit in. I’m going to hope I’m below average on that.

But you know what, I don’t know how much time I’ve wasted, and at this point, it doesn’t matter, because that time is forever gone.

The ironic thing with addictions is that it makes problems worse than if you faced them. Yep, when I go on Facebook, no magic faeries come and clean my kitchen. Well, on occasion my kids have, but that’s not typical. Ninety percent of the time, the problems I was avoiding are still there. I have simply delayed dealing with them.

Here’s my big dilemma.

I love things black and white. Nothing gives me more joy than when something is straightforward and there is a clear right or wrong answer that I can default to and say, yes I did that, or no I didn’t.

If I could, I would teleport myself to a world without social media. Then I wouldn’t have to deal with this issue, ha, ha. (Do you see a pattern in my coping methods?)

But, the reality today is that technology, and yes, even social media, is an integral part of our lives.

Seriously! I’ve deleted Facebook from my phone, and five minutes later I needed to Facebook stalk someone my teenage daughter was going to work with. See, there is practical value.

I’ve checked out of social media, only to find out that something had happened to a dear friend.

Social media, for all the mindlessness I hate about it, keeps us connected. And that’s a good thing.

I can’t eliminate it, so I’m going to have to put on my grown up mindset and instead learn how to manage my usage in a healthy way.

I’ve known this is an issue for a long time. (I already wrote about it once, here). I’ve tried to address it. I even do good for awhile, but then I slump back into it. Or, I find myself on social media when I didn’t even mean to be.

My five year old will demand, “Phone down!” and still I will tell myself I’m doing something more important than talking to my son who clearly wants my attention. You see why it is an issue and something I need to eliminate in my life?

So, my first and primary step in eliminating distractions, is dealing with my phone.

Here are some things I’ve already done that help me:

1. Turn off all my notifications.

The only notifications I have on are ones related to my kids. Everything else, I have to deliberately seek out–which you would hope would be harder than it is. Regardless, this has certainly helped me take a step in the right direction.

2. Time limits.

The great thing about technology is that there are some great tools to use. On most phones, you can have time limits placed on specific apps. I can lose myself on Instagram, but it’s quite rare. Facebook is my drug of choice. I have a 15-minute limit on my time there. Unfortunately, it’s easy to override and just as easy to justify. But, the time limit at least pokes at my guilt every time.

3. Monitor my usage.

This is another great guilt-inducing method. Guilt does have a purpose. Set your phone to monitor the time you are on it and what you use it for. You will likely be surprised and dismayed at what your time is filled with. The first step to change is awareness, and this creates some great awareness.

4. Clean up my home screen.

I have only the very basics on the home screen of my phone. Clock, text, calculator, maps etc. Everything else requires that extra step to scroll or search. Again, not a huge deterrent, but does put it out of site and requires a more conscious choice.

These have not been perfect solutions.

I’m still not where I want to be at in eliminating distractions and limiting my purposeless time online.

Just this morning, after thinking about my plan for the coming year. I picked up my phone to check the time… then suddenly I was also checking my email and sitting on my phone for several minutes, when my intent had been seconds.

So, here are a few more things I’m going to try.

1. Have other go-to activities first thing in the morning.

A lot of times I jump on my phone because I’m awake, and there must be something to do there. I’m going to replace that cue with new activities–journaling and studying something uplifting for the day. That way, I can tell myself, yes, I do have something to do–remember. And on that note, does anyone have inspiring daily reads to recommend?

2. No more scrolling!

If I’m going to be online, then I need to be contributing. Commenting, posting etc., but no more just mindlessly sitting online. This makes it not so mindless, and if I’m going to be “working” maybe there is other work I should be doing. This eliminates the “checking out” element. Cause in all honesty, sitting and doing nothing is a much more refreshing use of time than scrolling.

3. Stop carrying my phone around.

There are times when I don’t have my phone with me and will be completely oblivious to it. There’s no temptation. Of course when I go to find it, I have no idea where it is. This is sometimes a challenge because someone, like one of my kids, will text me and I will not know about it, but that’s what we are going to try this go around.

4. No phone before bedtime.

I don’t know why I feel the need to check in with my phone before bedtime, but I often do. Social media can mess up your sleep, and it usually delays my sleep longer than I should have allowed it to. One minute I’m tired and ready to go to bed, because my body is telling me it’s time. I take a few minutes to scroll and suddenly sleep has completely left the picture. If I’m in bed, no phone except to check the time. Period! That’s it!

Checking out and taking a break is not bad at all!

My problem is that I have no intention around checking out on my phone or Facebook. Scrolling isn’t even restful. It gets your mind hyped up and activated. It’s not allowing your mind a rest, but it’s oh so addicting, that it does feel like you are taking a break.

If I need a break, it’s time to choose something that will truly give me a break!