The Conscious Parent

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I follow Dr. Shefali on Instagram. When I found out she wrote a book, I knew I had to check it out. I hadn’t planned to read this book so soon in the year, but I felt the need to dive in. It is heavily influenced by Eastern philosophy, which is resonating with me right now.

For too much of my parenthood I have been a strict behaviorist (thanks largely to my college education). I won’t say it did not serve me well, but I do feel I missed opportunities and relationship building because of it. So far, this is less of a parenting book and more of a personal improvement book. I’ve already happened upon a number of life-changing takeaways.

Perhaps the most significant right now is that anger, or probably most negative emotions, are a result of focusing on how we thought things should have turned out rather than accepting things as they are. This is deep stuff for me and I’m loving the new perspectives.

Review

I am really appreciating the Eastern view of understanding. I don’t feel like this is an amazing parenting book per say, but an excellent personal development and self-understanding book.

The material I found most beneficial was analyzing patterns and working to understand where they come from so you can do better, particularly in terms of understanding how the way you were parented and your childhood impacts you now.

It left me with a lot to think about. I also really love the emphasized ideas of living in the present moment and accepting life and those around you, as is.

This is definitely a read I would recommend for someone seeking to understand themselves better. The actual parenting advice was a bit lacking, but I gained a great deal from the book regarding being a parent/ person.

The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry: How to Stay Emotionally Healthy and Spiritually Alive in the Chaos of the Modern World

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I had another friend recommend this one to me. Don’t know what to read right now? Ask your friends!

It fits right in line with some of my goals for this year to get out of the frantic pace of life (while still being productive). So, I have to check it out. I’m over the anxiety-inducing, never-ending rush and hurry. I think this will give me some great tips and tools to get a better handle on my crazed rush-rush-rush. I’m looking forward to reading it and learning!

Review

There were a lot of ideas I loved in this book. The writing and presentation weren’t astounding, but several ideas I will consider and continue to ponder.

We focus on many aspects of the life of Jesus, but one that often gets overlooked is his lifestyle which was void of rush and urgency. Surely if anyone had important things to do in a short amount of time he would qualify. I’ve honestly never thought about Christ’s lifestyle and most often just felt that I fell short and always needed to be doing more. Christ’s life, however, was very much the opposite of that.

Technology is sucking the life out of us. If you want less rush, more time, and more peace of mind—get your technology usage under control and use it as a tool to improve your life and nothing more

Same with stuff—We have so much so easily it literally runs our life, the need to have more, having to work to buy more, buying more things that consume more of our time and money. On and on. Get rid of it and stop relying on stuff. It also fully convinced me to work to shop more sustainably.

Focus on your most important priorities and let go of the rest. We do often try to do, be, and have everything. It’s not really a good thing.

Physically slow down!

I crave a peaceful, slower lifestyle and this gave me some great tools to get there.

Daily Rituals

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Until this past year, I have never thought of myself as particularly creative or artistic. I felt much more academic and well, boring. I’m quite averse to risk taking. However, I’ve pushed my writing a lot and found that I enjoy it a great deal once I could set aside my self-doubt and insecurities. I picked this book to awaken a little more of my inner creator. The reviews weren’t great, so I wasn’t sure about buying it, but the library has a copy, so it’s in.

Review

This really is better suited as a blog. The book seems to basically be the blog put to print. It felt a bit lazy in how it was published. I could have done with probably 100 pages or more less and been satisfied with the topic.

In the end, there’s really no rhyme or reason to success as a creator except to do it. The most common theme I found was that many engaged in regular walks. Otherwise, some were eccentric, some exacting in their routine, some created every day, some created when they felt like it, some used drugs and alcohol, some didn’t, some created for long periods of time, and others used very little time.

It was interesting, but the presentation ultimately proved laborious and tedious and I was checking the table of contents to see when I would be done.

The Extended Mind: The Power of Thinking Outside the Brain

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I’m a huge nerd when it comes to the interaction between the mind and behavior and how we can alter and guide that interplay. I heard about The Extended Mind in a blog newsletter I enjoy, by Eric Barker. I was instantly intrguied and am almost certain this is one that I will completely enjoy and will really get me thinking.

Review

This is a quite comprehensive look at strategies that enhance our capacity to learn and use our cognitive abilities.

There were some dry parts, but overall the information was well researched and laid out. There were some very interesting concepts discussed as well, such as the role of gesturing while speaking and the benefit of learners viewing gestures.

The role of movement in learning was interesting as it was the one commonality I found when reading Daily Rituals, that many creators prioritized a daily walk. That resonated with me as well as I find my thinking more alive when walking or even cleaning.

I love that this information is being discussed and hope the research is one day better implemented in schools and work environments. There is a lot of good information on enhancing the learning and exploration/discovery process and so many strategies that could be incorporated in a lot of situations.

Stillness Is the Key

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The last couple of years I’ve been very drawn to stillness and understanding why it is important in our lives. It’s really hard for me to personally find in the world I live in. It is so important to me that my husband and our family literally moved to a mountain in the middle of nowhere. It’s another one of those things that my soul longs for and feels trapped when I can’t find it. I’m ready to learn more about it and the role it plays in our life as well as how to bring more of it into my present state of living.

Review

Lots of sound principles shared with stories of ancient philosophers and others who have either demonstrated the value or destructiveness of certain lifestyles.

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I have a complicated and evolving relationship with giving. There was a time in my life when I thought I had to give everything I had to someone else whether it was my kids, husband the church. It left me depleted. I do believe there is a power in giving, but giving doesn’t always look as traditional as I have viewed it–giving gifts, a meal etc. In the giving, it’s also absolutely essential that we give to ourselves. I did not understand or believe that for the longest time. I’m hoping this expands my view of the role of giving in life and what I have to give to others.

Review

This wasn’t a super quick read for me, but it had a wealth of information.

I kind of forced myself to read it because I’ve felt burnt out in giving, but it had fantastic research.

I will be using the end-of-chapter tests to make personal improvements. The research was both deep and fascinating. My favorite part was the personal stories that were pulled in. The biggest takeaway for me is that there are lots of ways to give. My giving box has been too narrow, which is why I’ve likely felt burnt out because I probably have not been hitting the areas that are better suited for me.

I will remember this one and using it as a reference.

Fierce, Free, and Full of Fire: The Guide to Being Glorious You

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My sister told me this was a book that really impacted her. I went to read the description.

“No more hiding or people-pleasing…”

Um, yep, and yep.

The book I’m reading right now, Conscious Parenting, talks about how we should teach our children to be their authentic selves. This is such a foreign idea to me. I may have been taught this in principle, but in reality, I was taught to hide the bad parts of myself and to please other people and put forth a public persona of perfection. I still have to fight to embrace and not be ashamed by mistakes even though I know theoretically it is wrong. Practicing that is a whole different story.

People-pleasing is a huge personal character flaw. I wasn’t aware of it for a long time and I thrived on the feedback I got from others–hence my motivation to do well in educational settings. If I can take more steps to overcome this, sign me up!

Review

I enjoyed the empowering message to women to embrace who you are, to find your talents and passions, and to share it with the world. She touched on a lot of points women struggle with.

There were times in the book that were sloggy for me and some repetition as she drew heavily on sources I was already familiar with.

The War of Art

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Embracing this idea, not just that I have a creative side, but that I have a creative side worth sharing has been a huge revelation to me. It has also taken a lot of courage, in that, I really am more comfortable not sharing and staying in my hidden little corner with silent, quiet, hidden dreams. Reading more about creativity and sharing that creativity is definitely a genre I’m going to be grabbing onto this year. The inner battle is so intense. I’m ready to learn how to win some.

Review

Love his take on creativity. Inspiring for anyone working to create more or who feels the pull to contribute to the world as a creator.

The Practicing Mind: Developing Focus and Discipline in Your Life Master Any Skill or Challenge by Learning to Love the Process

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Writing all these books down is making me so excited for this year of reading. I want to sit down and read them all right now.

Another confession.

I’m a process hater. It’s not good. I want to run to the endpoint and skip all the in-between. Well, if you do this, you pretty much miss life or are totally miserable in life because all you are focused on is the end result. I’ve missed so many of the joys in life because of it. I’m slowly learning. Like, really slowly learning to stop and find joy in the process of development instead of just the endpoint. This is a book I just know I need to read to work on enjoying the process of work.

Review

Present-moment living is a topic a I need constant reminders on. This book has a lot of great tips and well-stated ideas. As he says, none of this knowledge is new, but present moment living is central to so many benefits in life.

I Like Me Anyway: Embracing Imperfection, Connection & Christ

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You shouldn’t judge a book by its cover, I know, but I hate this cover.

I almost didn’t explore the book more because I hate it so much. It reminds me of some of my mom’s old, seemingly boring books. I’d like to redesign this cover.

Regardless, a friend recommended this and that means I at least need to read more about it. The thing that pushed me to give it a try is that she has written for both Deseret Book and ScaryMommy.

Okay. Now I’m intrigued.

I checked out her website, and it looked like some things I would be interested to read. The other thing that is pulling me to this book–it’s about religion and imperfection. Those two things have a mental disconnect in my mind. Yes, it is talked about, but I have rarely seen it in practice. This is totally a personal issue I have, and I get that, but they are very enmeshed from my life experience. Sounds like one I need to check out.

Bird by Bird: Some Instructions on Writing and Life

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I’ve thought about writing ever since I began to get really good scores on all my papers in college. I don’t think I even gave it a second thought before then. I’ve thought about it the 20 years since. I’ve dabbled in it a little. It is only this year I have really begun to pursue it and as a result, obtained a job as a “writer.” I feel like, as a blooming writer, this is a must-read. It’s a world I didn’t really know existed, but I’m starting to lean towards more fully jumping into the life of a writer and discovering what that entails.

Review

Maybe a 3.5 stars. If you are interested in writing, this is like taking a writing class from Anne Lamott. I really appreciated her honesty in overcoming or perhaps dealing with all the self-doubt. I appreciated her ending chapter which basically said if you want to write, do it for the sake of writing, not for fame or fortune.

If you are not interested in writing, it will likely be boring and I did feel myself dragging through it at points, but it was worth reading for the perspective of a writer who has been there. I found her to be very relatable.

The Creative Habit: Learn It and Use It for Life (Learn In and Use It for Life)

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Twyla Tharp is apparently a dancer/choreographer. This isn’t really in my roundhouse, so I wasn’t sure if I’d pick this one up, but it talks about continual inspiration and the creative process, so I’m going to give it a try. Plus, it’s a New York Times Bestseller. Sometimes, that means something….

Review

The first chapter pulled me in and I was excited to read. By the end, I couldn’t wait to finish and move on to something else.

My biggest takeaway, from the first chapter, if you want to thrive as a creative, you must make it a habit.

The rest of the book I found boring and even defeating. There was very little inspiring about it and it made creativity sound tedious.

It may have been better termed as a memoir because there was so much about choreography. When I found out the author was a choreographer I almost passed it up and I should have because it really didn’t interest me much. A number of sections of the book felt much more about the author than creativity despite a disclaimer in the beginning that it wouldn’t be all about choreography. There were a few interesting stories here and there but overall it was a forced read for me.

I’m happy to finally be done with it.

What are you reading this year?

I’m dying to know the titles that have touched your soul or changed your life.